vampyredoll:

“stop being dramatic”

me:

brakehage:

i’ve been laughing at this for like 8 minutes straight

itsstuckyinmyhead:

jamesbarns:

me: oh my god i’m so close

them: hi so close, i’m dad

get this trash off my dash

bestpresidentna:

bill-11b:

Oh. My. Fuck. 

This is one of those things you do as a parent bc ur an asshole and know that your kid doesn’t know any better and you know that like fine wine this is only going to get funnier with age, like a great big bottle of uncorked shame

(Source: twitter.com)

animalrates:

animal rates?

softpunkbucky:

fiyhi:

cavegift:

fiyhi:

why do big dogs go boof.. 

they gotta push that bark thru their whole body and it just comes out like. a boof. yknow?

i see, the bigger the dog body the boofier the bark. are big dogs hollow?

yes. big dogs need all the space for warmth whereas little dogs have packed with righteous anger and unbridled rage

stealth-boy:

holy shit this is the official spongebob facebook page

foxmulders:

i’m not saying i need validation to live i’m just saying that if my heart was flatlining and the doctor started telling me how great i was instead of trying to revive me my ass would be conscious within ten seconds 

the-future-now:

Watch: 12-year-old Arturo also explains to anti-vaxxers why it’s not “my child, my choice.”

Follow @the-future-now